Thursday, January 29, 2009

Sue Scheff: Parenting and College Dropouts




“It’s very, very easy for students to become over-committed very quickly and to lose sight of why they’re in college.”

– Sherrie Nist, Ph.D., Professor.

Lee Hutto’s first attempt at college was not successful.

“My first semester I withdrew because I was gonna fail all my classes,” he says.

As a college freshman, Lee was not prepared for the fraternities, parties, sports and long hours of hard work.

“It’s very, very easy for students to become over-committed very quickly and to lose sight of why they’re in college,” says Dr. Sherrie Nist, director of academic enhancement at the University of Georgia.

In fact, some estimates show 20 percent of college students drop out before the start of their sophomore year- one in five!

One problem, experts say, is they never really learned how to manage their time.

Dr. Nist agrees, “That’s sort of hard to do when your son or daughter is just walking out the door, ‘oh, by the way, manage your time.’ That should be a skill they’re trying to instill in their children from the time they are small children.”

She says parents need to start years before college, allowing kids room to make mistakes, gradually increasing their freedom while they are still at home.

“And then instilling in them once they give them the freedom, they have to accept the responsibility for that freedom. That’s a hard lesson to learn,” she says.

Lee agrees, “I was ready to leave home, but I just wasn’t ready to accept everything that came with college. So, I guess, I wanted the freedom, but not the responsibility.”

One way to reduce freshman dropouts, experts say, is make sure your child is really ready for college, even if that means waiting a year or two.

Dr. Nist says, “Not all 18-year-olds are ready to go off to school and sometimes a year or two out in the workplace and maturing a little bit is the best thing students can do.”

And many kids will go back to school. Lee plans to start again next semester.

“I’ll go there in January and hopefully get the ball rolling again,” he says.

Tips for Parents

For parents, sending their child away to college means a major life adjustment. Packing up their belongings and dropping them off in a foreign environment may be as depressing for you as it is exhilarating to them. Your attitude can have a dramatic impact on their first days or even weeks away from home.

Going to college is an exciting time for students. They are out on their own for the first time, away from mom and dad and living on their own time. They make their own decisions - whether they will go to class or not, who they will hang out with and how late they should stay out the night before exams.

Time management becomes a successful college student’s most valuable tool, one that can make or break their college career. Poor time management skills may be the main reason over 20 percent of college students drop out before the start of their sophomore year.

So how do you ensure your child is prepared for the coming semester? The first step is to make sure they understand why college is important. The U.S. Department of Education says a college degree can mean:

Greater Knowledge. A college education will increase your child's ability to understand developments in science and in society, to think abstractly and critically, to express thoughts clearly in speech and in writing, and to make wise decisions. These skills are useful both on and off the job.

Greater Potential. A college education can help increase your child's understanding of the community, the nation and the world as they explore interests, discover new areas of knowledge, consider lifelong goals and become responsible citizens.

More Job Opportunities. The world is changing rapidly. Many jobs rely on new technology and already require more brain power than muscle power. In your child's working life, more and more jobs will require education beyond high school. With a college education, your child will have more jobs from which to choose.

More Money. A person who attends college generally earns more than a person who does not. For example, in 1994, a person with a college degree from a four-year college earned $12,500 more than a person who did not go to college. Someone with a two-year associate's degree also tends to earn more than a high school graduate.

After explaining the importance of higher education, you need to make sure your child can mange their own time. You may want to consider giving them more room, allowing them to make mistakes. Clemson University also suggests going over the following time management tools:

Remind your teen that in college they control the timing of their academic schedule and they need to do it wisely. Give them a few tasks to do around the house without telling them when and how to do it. This will give them (and you) an idea of how they will manage their time.
Tell them studying properly is serious business. They should plan on devoting hours of out-of-class time per week to the task. The general rule of thumb is 2 hours outside of class for every one hour in class.

Suggest that they will study better if they study often and in relatively short sessions.
Tell them that weekly planning is a good way to ensure that they have adequate time for studying. Before high school ends, have them plan out their week – school activities, extracurricular activities and chores at home. Remind them that writing it down works!
Have them get in the habit of making a weekly schedule of their study plans.
Suggest they stick to their plan!

Often the difference between high school and college is the biggest challenge for new college students. Offer up the following advice on how college is different than high school:

Material is presented more rapidly and in larger quantities.
Fewer exams are given and each exam covers more material.
All assignments typically count toward the final grade.
Keeping up with previous material is essential to understand new topics.
Considerable out-of-class time investments are required to effectively learn course material.
Critical thinking is more important than rote memorization.
Students are expected not only to understand the specific examples given in class, but also to apply their knowledge broadly.
Neither professors nor parents are “looking over your shoulder” to ensure that necessary coursework gets done on time.
Help is available, but you must take the initiative to seek it out.

References
Clemson University
U.S. Department of Education
University of Minnesota-Duluth

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Sue Scheff: Depressed Teens Parenting Book by Gary Nelson


Teens suffering from depression and related illnesses like anxiety and bipolar disorder find it very difficult to even make New Year’s resolutions, let alone keep them. Depression and its relatives very quickly tend to overwhelm teens. When faced with the idea of change depressed teens often see a mountain so huge that it seemingly can never be climbed or chiseled slowly into a molehill. They quickly feel overwhelmed and often respond with some thought or statement like, “It’s too big. I’ll never be able to do it… so why bother to even try.” The teen then falls deeper into their pit of despair. One of the first things that the depression “steals” from the depressed teen is their ability to take large, seemingly impossible tasks and break them into smaller, manageable pieces. Most of us take this ability for granted and practice this making of mountains into manageable molehills everyday. Depressed teens want to change. They want healing. They just don’t see a way over the mountain. The depression has them hog-tied, leaving the teens looking like they’re just lazy and don’t “want” to try. These depressed teens need help, not judgement. They need hope. For more information on this and other aspects of teen depression check out my new book, A Relentless Hope: Surviving the Storm of Teen Depression. If you have a teen who is struggling you might also want to check out Sue Scheff’s new book, Wit’s End.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Wit's End! Advice and Resources for Saving Out of Control Teen by Sue Scheff

Learn more about Wit's End at www.witsendbook.com and author Sue Scheff at www.suescheff.com -the response has been overwhelming! If you are struggling with your teen today - pick up Wit's End and learn more!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Sue Scheff: TEENSHEALTH


TEENSHEALTH answers and advice for parents of teens. Learn more about teen drug use, substance abuse, bullying, cyberbullying, peer pressure, sex education and more!


Learn more at this comprehensive parenting website.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Sue Scheff: A Parent's True Story Still Helping many Families

Are you a parent struggling with a teen today? Are you at your wit's end? Troubled by the defiance and negative behavior your teen is displaying? Lack respect for authority - for YOU -the parent? Know you are not alone!

Almost a decade ago I went the very same feelings of isolation, hostage to my own home and watching my good teen turn into a person I hardly recognized! Read the online story of A Parent's True Story.I created P.U.R.E. (Parents' Universal Resource Experts, Inc.) in hopes of helping other parents learn from my mistakes and gain from my knowledge.

I was almost silenced when the massive organization (WWASPS/Carolina Springs Academy) sued me - but I fought back and the truth prevailed. I won all legal actions!When they lost on all counts including in the Supreme Court (I had a jury trial victory) my next hurdle was defeating the negative Internet Slander and Defamation. You see, when you can't defeat someone legally - the Internet has become the next legal lethal weapon.

Again, I fought back - only this time I won an unprecedented jury verdict of damages for over $11M!So, when you see ugly postings about me - twisted truths and outright lies, understand I will always have critics that don't agree with me as well as those that want to silence me or discredit me, but I continued to fight back and continued to be victorious on all counts.

Read Wit's End and look for my new book coming out in the fall of 2009 which will focus on this new legal lethal weapon.

Friday, January 2, 2009

Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff - Where Are Teens Turning for Medical Advice

Source: Connect with Kids
“I had irritation in my special ‘no-no’ place. And that was a question that I wasn’t going to ask my mom.”

– Sheaele, Age 17

So where do teenagers like Sheaele turn when they want a health question answered? Sometimes friends, sometimes teachers… and according to a new survey, nearly half of teens are now going to the Internet to look for medical information.

“If it was a personal problem that I didn’t feel comfortable talking to anybody about, I would probably just look it up online,” says 18-year-old Joe.

But the information teens find on web sites may not always be accurate. Experts say to help a child avoid bad information, parents should do their own search of teen-friendly medical web sites.

Check them out. Then suggest the ones you like to your teen.

“Internet sites that do that, just give clear health information … I think that would be probably a good idea,” says Dr. Dawn Swaby-Ellis, a pediatrician.

But experts have an even better idea for parents: Find a real-life doctor their teen can trust.

“The best guarantee for growing up a healthy, secure, communicative adolescent is for that adolescent to have a constant relationship with a health practitioner over time,” says Dr. Swaby-Ellis.

Because while a doctor can promise teens the privacy they want, unlike the Internet, a doctor can also alert parents in the case of a serious health issue.

“If there’s anything at all that we hear, during an interview with a child alone that sounds like they’re in trouble,” says Swaby-Ellis, then we’ll certainly let (the parent) know.”

Tips for Parents
Previous studies have found that over 60 million Americans use the Internet for health and medical information. Teens make up a sizeable portion of this number; the Project estimates 45% of all children under the age of 18 have Internet access.

Health-related web sites that targeted teens are appearing on the Internet. Sites such as:


iEmily.com
Zaphealth
THINK (Teenage Health Interactive Network)
Teen Growth
These sites are like interactive magazines written specifically for teens. Headlines from a recent ZapHealth page include: “My Friend's Acne” and “Guilt about Drinking.” Other topics on the site include “getting the dirt on important issues like kissing, piercing and buying condoms.”

In addition to articles, these web sites offer:


Information and advice on general, sexual and emotional health
Information on fitness and sports
Family issues
Chat rooms where teens can talk with others with similar concerns
Bulletin boards where teens can post questions and receive answers from health care professionals
Links to other resources

It’s easy, quick and convenient. An added appeal of these sites is that teens can get information anonymously, without having to talk to anyone. The Pew Project says that 16% of web health seekers do so to get information about a sensitive health topic that is difficult to talk about.

Although a teen can get answers to some questions on these sites, the sites caution teens that they are not a substitute for regular healthcare; teens should see their healthcare providers as needed.

ZapHealth also urges children under 18 to talk with their parents or guardians about any health or emotional issues.


References
The Pew Internet and American Life Project
ZapHealth